The Ending On The Horizon

Uni has started again, and I'm finding it hard to believe that it's going to be my last semester (hopefully).  This time next year, everything's going to be different again.  So many changes, maybe another move, but even if I stay, there will be a major change in my life.  There's no more getting drunk on week nights, no more staying up all night and sleeping all day, no more meeting friends for coffee in the middle of the afternoon and also, this online thing, it has to end.

I do realise that soon, I'm going to be too old to constantly be updating my online accounts.  My Space might have to go, or rather it might take a back seat.  There's going to be other responsibilities. I might still be sitting in front of the computer, but it won't be to relax.  Instead, it will be to tax my brain even more.  My MSN and YM I'm not too worried about because as it is, I only get on there to catch up with friends and family.  Since I've never used my online accounts as a flirting portal, that won't matter.  I've never been much of a flirt anyway. 

As a proper job looms on the horizon, I do realise that my party personalities, both of whom I don't like much anyway, are going to be taking long breaks.  Gina's not going to be whoring all over dance floors at all hours and talking empty nonsense with people online.  In fact, I might not even be able to see most of the people I talk to online very often anymore.  How horrible is that? For one thing, most of my uni buddies in Facebook might go back to their home countries, which would be terrible, since currently, we communicate on Facebook, MSN, telephone and meet almost everyday!  It's going to be terrible how much I'm going to miss them. 

With 6 months to go, I still don't have a plan.  I don't know why.  I think it's because since high school, I've constantly had a plan of where I wanted to go and I've been working towards it all this time.  At 22 I had plans to get married to my ex boyfriend, but of course, that didn't work out.  Now, I'm just drifting and waiting to see what happens next. 

I know some people worry about how much I currently party and drink.  Relax.  You know in a race, it's the end when you give it that final sprint.  Well, that's what I'm doing now.  Soon everyone's going to be all over the globe and all the updates I might ever get might be through email or something like that.

Soon, not only will I have to give up this current hippie lifestyle of mine, I actually will have to start planning my days, weeks, months, years. Holidays will need careful thought.  No more just switching on the computer, checking my savings and deciding to fly to Borneo on a whim. The piercings will have to go.  Even half of the hair I've kept for a year will have to go.  Out will come the severe black clothes and 3" pointy heels.  No more "Gia".  I'll be Ms. Azra again... because I'll be damned if I use my surname.  Goodness!!!! In fact, I might have another surname!!!!

Right now, I'm thinking that I will have to put roots down SOMEWHERE! People are starting to have long talks to me about "settling down".  Yes, I want a family.  I want kids, but it's something I don't dare put too much hope upon.  Work, a job, it's something you can work on, but something like a family takes another person to work, so that's open for now. 

Yet, as the end seems so close, I will treasure the next few months and try to connect as much as I can with my friends.  It doesn't matter that it will hurt and I will miss them when we part company, but it does matter that we treasure what time we do have.  Shakespeare said that parting was such sweet sorrow and I agree with him.  There is no sorrow like parting and nothing sweeter than knowing that our paths might cross again.